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During the last 10 years, the world wide web converted signing up and recruiting

promotion. Furthermore network and private associations, the world wide web is actually

the top way to obtain career lookup and employment placement. Even so, i am

presently having a transfer no less revolutionary: the democratization on the

World wide web by way of popular lookup capacity. Because of this transfer,

signing up and recruiting promotion will have a serious turbulence and

alteration inside future years.

We would think the initial amount of the data Era as the

era of info: going particular and organization functions to the

world-wide-web and developing huge numbers of details. We have reached the next phase,

that may be fully understood as the alteration of info extraction and

generation functions. It's generally referred to as Half inchWeb 2 . 0.Half inch concentrating on end user

communication and use-like connections. It's more simply just the

mobility in the direction of facts availability for both input and output of details.

Nice of Google and other search engines like yahoo is also swiftly

altering the unbooked time of info. Simply speaking, i am just now

dipping our toes within the fantastic pool of info that we've been stuffing

for so many many years.

Assuming that the techniques for being able to access and extracting details and data on

the world wide web is not whole, details that relates to other details have to live in

same position just to be discovered. Because of this development, details connected

to career listings (and details generally) swiftly became clustered about a few

fundamental web pages. For instance, men and women pay a visit to Colossal.org to seek out work opportunities, Rain forest.org

to seek out training books, eHarmony.org to get a life partner, etc While using the incredibly

not whole details being able to access functions out there in the last ten years and in some cases now,

these kinds of web pages are an absolute need. Even so, this is about to

alter.

When content articles are additional universally and swiftly offered, facts will not

end up being clustered. In particular, work opportunities won't have to exist in the

Half inchidentical positionHalf inch just to be discovered. While using the occurrence of search engines like yahoo, career

lookup may become increasingly decentralized - because it last but not least may be

decentralized. Information and facts (i.elizabeth. career types) are available by using an

person firm's web page in the same way quickly as through the crowded pile of

career types within a business web page. Web users not have to

take a trip paths to seek out facts. In particular to seek out the next few paragraphs,

men and women not pay a visit to TalentBar - his or her type World wide web Career Lists in

Google to check out relevant subject areas. Hence somebody in charge of, organizations

possess a great opportunity to last but not least centralize and host their particular career

types even though nevertheless acquiring rankings.

Hence, it is now time for ones company to use your web page as a

signing up motor. Any company needs to be inquiring how they can move their

career listings to their own personal site. There are great benefits to hosting

your work opportunities, which includes more significant possible applicant knowledge, desire,

comprehension, and use fee. You can even get pleasure from more significant market

understanding, venture programs, etc... as men and women find out about your

company and recognize your employment logos strategy.

If your corporation will quickly utilize this new availability

and alteration on the World wide web, there are plenty of factors to highest

rankings and conversions for ones career listings. Like for example ,:

Getting visitors or traffic on your site: There are plenty of search engines like yahoo for work opportunities that will

get possible people right to your site. You can even take into consideration

normal Google, Live messenger, or Aol promotion to push traffic towards your work opportunities.

Vocabulary: Career types will need to target detailed ease-of-use - significance

that carried out fleshed out and detailed, with plenty of key word-wealthy

sentences, yet still obvious and focused. In particular, if you are producing a

explanation for your Caffeine Designer, your livelihood will need to secure the term Caffeine numerous

times, all involved technological know-how, and involved spanish verbs: method,

produce, code, etc... Attempt not to have a Half inchcareer explanation,Half inch but really a

every day steps explanation. It can lead to strong, key word wealthy text.

Sell your Company: The moment you have a applicant on your site, the genuine work will begin

. All through your site and through your livelihood types, it is best to

produce and multiply your employment logos strategy. Do your target

brilliance, do you want to create creativity, or perhaps placed family initial?

Get this communication house all through your blog. Provide reasonable lab tests

of one's work environment - they'll be liked, and you may obtain

additional targeted programs.

Don't make it hard: You ought to cause it to practically as not smart easy as you possibly can to

pertain to your small business. Why not consider an enormous purple press button in the center of the

webpage? Providers typically supply the applicant a huge route to

use, make it hard for you in their continue. Usually do not make

the mistake of convinced that your most wise people will Half inchdecipher it

out.Half inch The most brilliant thoughts in the marketplace are often impetuous multiple-taskers who

will vacation interior and exterior your site inside a moment.

The Net changed considerably, but Career Publishing and internet based recruiting

remains to be stuck rolling around in its own very first alteration from newspapers. The

the can come for ones company to have before challenge and make use

on this new availability and universality of info on-line.

TalentBar is usually a highest regarded community for Hour or so and Signing up industry experts

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Gonna get knocked up...despite Satan's best efforts to keep me down!

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Where should I start? Here is the "not so skinny" right now, on what's happening in the wild world of the Elli'msohormonalitsunbelievableotts ♥. How about with the fact that I was supposed to take the beast of a drug days 3-7, but in true Jessica fashion, I got busy being a social butterfly and forgot. So I took them 5-9 instead! I had no idea if that would work, nor did I really care this month. Shocking...I know! For 15 months now, my entire life has revolved around pills and temps, sperm "friendly" lube, hostile mucous environments, peeing on sticks and trying to get that one sweet little sperm to jump on that one aggravating egg! Honestly, I'm kinda over it. I need a break from reality! Or as Steven pointed out, maybe I need to focus on other stuff and forget it for a while. I think that he may be wishful thinking, but I'll try it!





Well, I went to Bible study last week, feeling horrible because I just dropped my last sister off for the gas chamba (as nana says) lolol. Needless to say I wasn't really in "Bible study mode". I pressed on and went and I'm sure glad that I did. Bear with me while I relay a story! I promise it will have significance later...
Very long story short...my dad has been dealing with chronic back pain for 25 years now. Doctor say he need a backiotomy (crackin myself up again).
No really the doctors have repeatedly told him that he could have surgery, but it may not do any good. He has been to multiple chiropractors, holistic doctors and tried every other method he could find...with no relief. So he tells us this story last week.
Dad: I was riding along a few months ago and was begging God to help me, to heal my back. (If he was going to be an effective minister of the gospel, then how would/could he do that with a jacked up spine?) So after praying for a "miracle" for 25 years, the big booming voice finally spoke to him about it. God told him and I quote "I have already done, all that I am going to do, so stop asking". TRIPLE OUCH.
So dad says "uh okay then". And then came the revelation. If you really believe that God sent His son Jesus to die on the cross for, lets just say, our healing...then doesn't it make sense that He already took care of our healing way back then? Sounds logical to me. My dad said, "wow, I have had this healing all along, but me in my mere human brain didn't have the foresight to just claim it and walk in it. Instead I spent years wondering why God would want me in pain". You see God doesn't want any of us in pain, physically, mentally or emotionally. We are so hell bent determined to do things our way, and "make it work", that we forget that HE already paid the ultimate price for our redemption many, many years ago!So back to dad. Picture this. His back locks up last week (before this bible study), and instead of crouching on the floor and laying there like he usually does, he began to pray and demand what is rightfully his. And low and behold...he stood straight up and walked away with 0, nada, zilch, NO BACK PAIN! Now picture this. He was so excited that he took off out of the house running like a wild psych patient screaming and flailing his arms that he was healed, and telling Satan that "I told you so". ahahahahahahahaha I would love to have been a neighbor on that street! You know they thought he had escaped from an asylum somewhere! =)
As my dad was telling this story I began to cry (yes again). This is so me. I always thought, "my dad doesn't really understand this. He keeps telling me to have faith and that he believes, but he isn't having to walk this out". WOW. He does understand! Having to lay hunched over your steering wheel to drive, and barely unable to sit for any extended amount of time, was his fertility problem. He was having to walk out the pain of his back, and the inability to do normal activities of daily living, and was still able to look at me and say "it's going to be okay. You are pregnant with a promise"...and he really does believe it! I didn't give my old man nearly enough credit!


I have been laying around still wondering when my turn is and begging God. Well lets just say I have my answer.This is where you all come in. I am choosing to speak words of life and encouragement over my situation. I will no longer refer to myself as "infertile". I am not "infertile". And if you think I'm crazy, refer to the blog where the doctor told me that I defied all odds and somehow miraculously became normal after a year and a half, three ultrasounds and an hsg said that I wasn't normal! See God gave me a promise many months ago, then to top that off he sent me to a doctor that confirmed what he promised...and here I sit...begging and waiting for the miracle! OMG. This is the miracle! It hit me like a ton of bricks when I heard the big guy speak.God: So Jessica...Me: yup?God: what else do you want, how about some writing on a wall?Me: okay, okay.  I get it. again.God: I GOT THIS.Me: I sure am glad you are patient. (antoine dodson voice) OBVIOUSLY I is a little slow.God: You aren't the only one. lol
So the moral of this story is...no baby...YET! It's my time for God's favor. I am laying hold of my promise instead of embracing a diagnosis that by most peoples standards, is hopeless.

Romans 5

Developing Patience

 ^1-2By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise.  ^3-5There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit! And that included babies!

See, no matter what you are living through, God has already thrown open a door. All you have to do is take one step toward Him, and He will run to you! I need Him. I still have moments where the devil on my shoulder says discouraging things. And sometimes I believe him.  I am choosing to believe the God of my promise. You all think I'm crazy...just wait! When I do get pregnant, I may just run through my neighborhood like a fool screaming and waving that God has finally come through for me! lolololol I love you dad!

He just can't give her/him up can he? Must be sweet!

P.S. Jaime just got over being sick as a dog, but managed to hike a volcano today! She texted me "the big girl lives"! lol. she is doing much better and looking forward to a fun-filled week ahead!
Jana is doing well and has found a hot little British specimen to salivate over while she studies the Bible! =)I miss them both more than i ever thought possible, but am planning a European vaca for March! Yeah!!!!
Have a good week all, and remember to speak life over your circumstances and stop believing that devil on your shoulder.

He's got the whole world in His hands...

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Wowzers! I've been so busy lately I haven't had a free second to blog! Not only that but, I haven't had much to say! Hard to believe I know but true!This is the update that I have for ya...GUESS WHAT I GOT TODAY?! SHOCKING I KNOW... BUT SHE'S BACCCCCCCCKKKK! This marks the end of my 3 month trial on clomid. 3 long months of hoping this would be my miracle answer! Well clearly it wasn't! I'm not sure where to go from here. The doctor is suggesting IUI. Intrauterine insemination. This is cheaper and less invasive (although I'm not sure how much more invasive them turkey baste-in my va jj can get)!**Enter problem here: Steven has a little different perspective on this than I do (imagine that). He says that if my body has really only been ovulating and "normal" for six months now, then that means we have only been trying for six months, right? He says and I quote "you are going to kill me for saying this but I don't think you Are being patient enough".


Uh...


Seriously?



Enter flood of tears and barrage of cuss words. Has he lost his ever lovin mind? It has been 17 months of hell that I have "been patient". While I have seen 19 friends try to conceive, get pregnant, and have the babies in the last YEAR, I have remodeled our entire house, learned to wood work by designing and refinishing our entire dining room set, taught myself to sew, enrolled in school full time (for a degree I don't even really need), picked up hunting as a sport, learned to work with felt, started a blog, helped paint my entire house, made my own curtains, planned a wedding, a shower and a bachelorette party, and worked full time ...amongst many other dumb things to keep myself busy. I'm bout to in role in TY KWAN DO, SO I CAN KICK HIS MONKEY *** for saying something as stupid as that.  10 baby showers, countless amounts of hours making gifts and a lot of money spent buying them...I need to BE MORE PATIENT? I'm 34 years old...being patient is no longer a luxury I can afford! As you can probably imagine, this went over like a toot in church! I don't believe that I'm as disappointed that he is unsure of me having the IUI right now, but worse, that he thinks I haven't been patient enough! While understand his point, I don't appreciate it much. It reiterates to me how very lonely this journey really is. Nobody that hasn't been here, really understands. Plain and simple. That doesn't mean that others can't still offer words of encouragement, and that my friends and families opinions don't matter, but personally walking this out...is well...my worst nightmare! And to think I'm not even on the same page as my husband, is freaking devastating.I don't slow down. I can't slow down. If I slow down I'm scared this whole thing will catch up to me. There has to be a crack in this facade sooner or later. I'm hoping that I will end up knocked up before it rears it's ugly little head!I hate this!





So I asked my mom, my dad and anybody else that I thought had a brain, what to do...and I got Nuttin! ZIP, ZERO, ZILCH! I didn't start out with any answers to this, and I still don't know what the answer is.
But...HERE IT COMES...
I just happen to know who does have all of the answers. He is right, He is just, He is fair. He knows my name, my desires, even all of the 1 trillion hairs on my head (minus the ones I had lasered right on off)! And more importantly HE CARES! He is walking me through this. While I am disappointed that even the man that I love most in the world, doesn't understand, God still does. WOW! What a humbling thought. Maybe I needed to get to this point. Maybe I needed to not have any other answer in the world. Maybe He's screaming for my attention!!! He says "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)
My way of doing this is by praying and sharing my pain with God.This has been and continues to be my humble request~
Gracious God, I long for a child and find my heart void of hope as month after month I go childless.The love that I have and the desire you put in me is overwhelming, but that love seems thwarted every month that this longing is not filled.Look with tenderness upon me, my father. Let the disappointment that hangs over me be lifted by the joy of your touch.Let me feel your warm embrace and become envoloped in YOUR plan for my life.Give me patience that will help re-build my hope.Give me peace that passes all understanding. Prepare me for the highest call I will ever receive, the call to be "mommy".I know that You have the whole world in your hands...and that includes my precious baby Elliott!

Hi baby Elliott! Gosh I hope you have hair!

Now how about loosening up that grip there, ol buddy ol pal!?
Thanks dude,
AMEN!
My next doctors appointment is December 1st to "re-evaluate" my fertility status. Steven's next doctors appointment will be soon if he doesn't stop acting a fool! 


I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Give thanks for all things, but give extra thanks for your babies! They aren't always easy to come by!

It's the most wonderful time of tha year...

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Turkey baster...meet Jessica...Jessica...meet a turkey baster~ MERRY freakin CHRISTMAS! Whaaaa?  So yeah, um today was my "big" appointment to decide what to "do from here"! I decided at last that Steven should probably break down and go with me. Up to this point I transcribed the information without difficulty, however I didn't think making a decision like this was "I'll let you know" appropriate. So off we went! The doctor said exactly what I expected her to say. "Your not getting any younger, this is the next step, statistics say...yada yada yaaaaaa". She asked me what the ETA was on my egg making it's appearance. "Monday" I told her mostly expecting her to say "okay well lets plan on starting in January". Not so much! She said "well that's great! I'm on call this weekend so if it happens early we can meet here to do the procedure". WHAAAAAAT? I wish I could describe the looks that shot between Steven and I! lol! Um okay, well we were planning to go to Florida this weekend for our 2nd anniversary but... maybe I'll get turkey basted instead! Can I bring some friends and champagne and make it a party? Let's get ur done! I have no idea what I was prepared for, or what I was expecting, but I'm kinda still in shock. This is happening very fast...
We went through all of the incidentals, such as where Steven would make his contribution (hahahahaha =) yea, I'm like a second grader snickering in his peripheral vision), as well as, the shot I will need to induce ovulation at just the perfect moment. I will go back tomorrow to have an ultrasound so she can get an idea of when the little monster will slipidy slide on down the road to glory! At that point she will let me know weather or not I can go on vacation, and which TWO, yes I said two days I will need to be in for my... ahemmm, procedure. Two times the fun! Nothing like a little turkey basting to get me in the holiday spirit~
For those of you asking, I'll explain a little bit about the physical procedure.
Intrauterine insemination (IUI) is a procedure which involves placing sperm inside a woman’s uterus to facilitate fertilization. It's kinda like ghetto artificial insemination! bhahahaIUI is a fertility treatment that uses a catheter to place a number of washed sperm directly into the uterus. The goal of IUI is to increase the number of sperm that reach the fallopian tubes and subsequently increase the chance of fertilization. Generally it is a fertility treatment often selected by couples who have been trying to conceive for at least one year but who have no known reasons for their infertility. Although IUI still requires the sperm to reach and fertilize the egg on its own, it is important to make sure that the sperm is healthy and mobile. IUI provides the sperm an advantage by giving it a head start, but it still has to seek out the egg on its own. Go little Elliott sperm go! I want to make a banner for them! 

hayyyy! how you durin?

How does IUI work?

The IUI procedure is simple and may be performed even if the woman is not receiving medication to improve her egg production. Many physicians will encourage women to take medications to stimulate the ovaries in order to increase egg production and, hopefully, the chance of achieving pregnancy (thus the Clomid I have been on for 3 months now).An ultrasound will be used to monitor the size of the follicles (follicles develop into eggs). The hormone, human Chorionic Gonadotropin (hCG), is administered to stimulate the release of eggs from the follicles within 34-40 hours.A semen sample will be processed by the lab in order to separate the semen from the seminal fluid (only the biggest and best for me hahahaha). A catheter is used to inject the processed sperm directly into the uterus. This process maximizes the number of sperm cells that are placed in the uterus and thus increases the possibility of conception. The next step involves that dreaded TWO WEEK WAIT! As it happens, I will find out December 19-20th. What a Christmas this will be! Weather or not this works out, we feel like it's time to be proactive. My puppy daddy, and I have made the decision to try this a few times (with any luck, and a little helping push from God's hands, only once) to see if it works for us.  And for the record, I did not manipulate him into this. Although his reasons for concern were very valid, after a little bit of education and maybe a tensy, tiny bit of screaming, crying, wailing and gnashing of teeth, he saw things a little more clearly! (JK) We prayed hard about this, and we both have found peace with it.  So, as much as I love the hormone induced night sweats, hot flashes, suicidal/homicidal thoughts, erratic behavior, horrible nightmares, dry mouth and blurry vision I get to encounter every month, I will breathe a sigh of relief to give this journey the heck up! I would be a total liar to say that this doesn't give me renewed hope, and excitement. That being said, the very thought of it makes me cringe. I am moving slowly and carefully through the myriad of feelings that the thought of this IUI produces. What most people find exciting and the happiest moment of their lives, I live in trepidation of. This has been anything but fun and exciting. 
LOL). I can't even imagine how it will feel. I guess the old adage is true, the harder you have to work for something, the more you will appreciate it. I can say that while I will always appreciate the difficulty of this experience, I will forget every single horrible feeling, every month of disappointment, every hot flash, every single one of the million tears I have cried over the past 18 months, the second I see that sweet face! And ... I will probably do it all over again!All of that being said, this whole process comes with renewed excitement, and with horrible anxieties and fears. I fight the thoughts of preparing myself for disappointment, while trying to stay positive and be excited for a supposedly exciting time! I'm telling you what, it's hard to appreciate the trillion feelings and thoughts that roll through my precious little head in one day. It's enough to torment your soul right out of you.

But God.
I have a promise. I have my faith. Weather or not I ever birth a baby, it makes no difference. I don't blame God (not anymore)! I refuse to believe that this will not happen for me. For those of you that know me, I am stubborn as an ox. I will not go down without a fight. I will not be robbed of something that clearly is mine. I'll have to give it to the old man upstairs (He lets me call Him that. We tight!), He's about worn this ol oxen (is that a female ox? idk. anyways you get the point) completely out. I get the mental picture of my dad spanking me (yes it happened a few thousand times ahahaha). He would chase me in a circle around, and around until I got the point, or he got tired! I wonder sometimes if God isn't chasing me in a circle. Only one problem with that. He's got more energy, and more time that I do. Really, I do believe that He will go to extraordinary lengths to get our attention sometimes. To the extent that He will allow hurtful circumstances to come your way, simply to remind you that you need Him, and that He still cares. If we never needed God, what would be the point? Well clearly, I am not in charge of my "5 year plan". He put the old ax on that real quick like so...here I am.He kindly reminded me just today...

He is my father! What dad doesn't want the absolute best for his child? He is going to bring me through this whole experience a bigger and better person. You can all attest to my miracle when it gets here! AND you all know that I am kinda fond of dramatic entrances, so it' s should be no shock that my baby will make a grand one!  Until then, He's got her/him hemmed up taking all my sugar! Guess I'll have to suck the faces off of my 19 friends babies for now!

Hi angel Elliott! We are waiting on you!

You think it will look like me? lolol

should have named me Jessichin lyn flo!

Okay, I really have to go to sleep now, so I'll update asap! Please keep us in your prayers over the next few weeks. I will probably not be in my seat of rest, where I should be, but I sure am gonna try!
Happy Holidays! (Probably not all that thrilled about turkey now are ya?)

I don't want to live my life with an Ishmael, when I deserve and am destined for an Isaac!

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Well hope everybody had a great holiday season! I know I did! It was not nearly as hard as I anticipated it would be. It's been a while since I blogged, partially because I have been ridiculously busy, and partially because I just haven't felt like dealing with this. As most of you  know, I have the IUI done in December. Obviously that didn't work out for me. I finished 5 months of Clomid before I made an executive decision...TO QUIT! I went to Bible talk one night and my dad was talking about something totally unrelated to this, but in my ADD moment I started to flip through the Bible. I went to the story of Abraham and Sarah. All at once I had my own little epiphany!
God had a plan for Sarah. His plan was for her to stay out of His plan, and let Him do what He does best...be God. Well Sarah had her own idea. I'll relay how I think the story must have gone.Sarah: I think I'll help God out a little bit. I am having trouble having a baby so I think I'll get ol Abe a concubine and have her carry my chosen baby.God: Do it my way. I have a plan Sarah. All you have to do is sit back and have faith.Sarah: naw I think I should help.Abe: huh, huh. duh? yeah Sarah, this sounds like an awesome idea.God: Not so much. Leave it alone. I got this.


So Sarah proceeds to get her hubby another baby momma. Abraham listened to God and decided to move His family away from evil, with the promise of an inheritance. Moving is no fun, particularly when your moving van is a camel or a donkey, and especially when you don’t even know where you are going!  That is probably harder on a woman than it is on a man. Sarah is not mentioned in that verse, but her faith is there, every bit as steadfast as Abraham’s. She believed that God would sustain her through the arduous journey and show her husband the place he had chosen for them. Sarah was an intelligent and capable woman. But when she married Abraham she made a decision. She established as her mission in life the task of helping her husband fulfill God’s purposes for him.  I do not believe that Sarah did this with a spiteful or manipulative heart. The next great strain on their faith is revealed in this statement: “Now Sarai, Abram’s wife had borne him no children” (Gen. 16:1). God was soon to change Abram’s name to Abraham, from “exalted father” to “father of a multitude.” How could Abraham be the father of a multitude when he had no son? duh? Now it was Sarah’s turn to devise a clever human scheme. (Enter Jessica conniving here). She offered her Egyptian slave girl, Hagar, so that Abraham might have a son by her. (No I'm not desperate enough to get Steven a hooker!) I must admit that her suggestion revealed her belief that God would keep His word and give Abraham a son. It was obviously motivated by her love for Abraham and her desire for him to have that son. I know this feeling of desperation well. And at the time, sharing her husband with another woman would have been one of the most sacrificial things she could do. But it was not God’s way. It was another fleshly solution. And God’s ways are always best even when He is withholding what we think we need at the moment (ouch). I have had no evil intent in this either, however my intent is just that...my intent...not His intent. This impulsive sin had its effect on the relationship between Abraham and Sarah. Hagar got pregnant and eventually became proud and unmanageable. Sarah blamed Abraham for the whole problem when it was actually her own idea. Then she took it out on Hagar, and her unkindness exposed the bitterness and resentment in her soul. Meanwhile, Abraham shirked his duty. He should have said “No” to Sarah’s sinful scheme in the first place. But now he told her to handle the problem herself, to do whatever she wanted to do, but to stop badgering him about it(Steven, lol).
You see even great men and women of faith have their moments of faithlessness (or days, or weeks). And no such moment was worse for Abraham and Sarah than when they laughed at God. They both did it. God told Abraham he would bless Sarah and make her a mother of nations. Kings of peoples would come from her. Abraham fell on his face and laughed, and said, “Will a child be born to a man one hundred years old? And will Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?” (Gen. 17:17). Abraham tried to get God to accept Ishmael as his heir, but God said, “No, but Sarah your wife shall bear you a son, and you shall call his name Isaac; and I will establish My covenant with him for an everlasting covenant for his descendants after him” (Gen. 17:19).Sarah’s turn was next. The Lord appeared to Abraham in the person of a visitor to his tent, and Sarah overheard him say, “I will surely return to you at this time next year; and behold, Sarah your wife shall have a son” (Gen. 18:10). She was listening at the tent door and laughed to herself, saying, “After I have become old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?” (Gen. 18:12).  “Is anything too difficult for the Lord?” (Gen. 18:13, 14). That poignant challenge pierced their faltering hearts, and faith was rekindled, strong and steadfast. There was that brief setback in Gerar (Gen. 20:1-8). But basically things were different from that moment on.
I said all of that to say...that was my moment. At Bible study that night. The last 19 months have consisted of me laughing at God. What an ass I am! lol. Really? I either believe, or I don't. My friends, I do believe. Who am I that I would laugh at God? That's dumb. Real dumb.Wow! I'm a little ballsier than I thought. I don't want to live my life with an Ishmael, when I deserve and am destined for an Isaac! So in spite of the fact that I had the money to do two more IUI's, I have chosen not to. Instead I am going to Europe to visit my sister...and REST. Take my seat of rest in MY FATHER! I quit taking all of the drugs, and subsequently I have felt more peace than I have in almost two years. I still have my days...like yesterday! I get rowdy with God and show Him my attitude problem. He's well aware that I am strong willed and I "just want to help", but He is not participating with my plan. I often have wondered, how many years sooner may God have hand delivered Isaac, if Sarah had obeyed and listened and quit "trying to help" Him. Did she delay her destiny with her scheming?
I don't want to prolong, delay or mess up my destiny, and the destiny of my precious baby. He or she has a set time and a set place to show up here. God has set times and He is never late (unlike me). I don't want to have the kind of faith that only believes when things are going my way. This journey began unexpectedly, and in the meantime, look what I have become! (Not that I wasn't great before that lolol =)). This baby, MY baby, has a sweet destiny and a sweet call. I refuse to settle for anything less than a God ordained Isaac~!
If I have repeated it once, I have repeated it a thousand times this week. 

Jeremiah 29:11

New International Version (NIV)¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Hope, a future and a baby!
I wish I had a magic cure that would make me feel better, but my instincts tell me that having a baby under normal circumstances wouldn't even do the trick.
I LOVE DRAMATIC ENTRANCES AND BOY IS THIS MIRACLE GOING TO TOP THEM ALL?! THAT'S HOW I ROLL YALL! 
I'll keep updating as I can but in the meantime when you see my derogatory facebook comments or I'm having a "moment", please find a scripture to remind me that He wants the best for me! I need encouragement more than the next girl! 
p.s. This hoe was 90 years old and abe was 100! WHAAAA? Surely if God can dust that old thing off and use it, I'm good to go! ahahahahaha

The name Isaac comes from the word "Yitzhak" (also Yitzchaq) in Hebrew, which means "Laughing One", "laughter" or "to laugh".  How appropriate is that for me?  Isaac has one meaning as given by GOD HIMSELF to Abraham in Genesis.  It means ''child of the covenant'' or ''child of the promise''. God cannot give the name of His promised child ''laughter'' because this has spiritual significance. God values names very much. *Genesis17:19- And God said, Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son indeed; and thou shalt call his name Isaac: and I will establish my covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his seed after him.I think I'll let God name my boy! =)

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Well, here is the update. Try to stick with me as I endeavor to explain a very complicated process via blog! There is good news and bad news! The good news is that I can't eat jack and I have lost 3 pounds this week! And that's about where it ends. Up until now Steven and I have been told that I have 2 out of 3 things wrong. We were made aware this week at the fertility clinic that I have 3 out of 3 wrong! (I always say, "go big or go home" right?) So...now we are faced with a decision. The doctor has advised us that she wants to do 2 more IUI procedures adding stimulation medications and ovulation medication to assist with this. I am not producing enough follicles and therefore the chance of an egg being produced is slim to none. My uterus is misshapen, and my hormones completely whacked (SHOCKING). Basically this is the deal. We are having to come up with 1500 bucks per cycle and the first cycle should start this week...no pressure. I will inject meds and take them by mouth. I will have ultrasounds, another HSG which will tell her exactly what my uterus looks like, and then we will try to get the eggs to come out and play. I would undergo the IUI in about 3 weeks. 

I am overwhelmed and scared. Steven and I are praying and well, worrying about what the right thing to do is. According to the specialist we have less than a 10% chance of ever conceiving and carrying a baby naturally. These medications will at least put me back up to a 20-25% chance of conceiving. That's a normal chance. The risks are minimal. If the meds make me produce too many eggs, they will simply go in with a huge needle and puncture all of the small eggs. Easy peasy right? (WTH?)...the other risk is...
It is estimated that the risk of becoming pregnant with twins while taking letrozole is 10%, while the risk of becoming pregnant with triplets is less than 1%. On the other hand, women who take gonadotropins in conjunction with IUI have as much as a 30% chance for multiple and high-order pregnancies and births. 


OH MMMMMMMMMMM GEEEEEEE.
I Found this video and it pretty well depicts this whole process in 3d. Take a look!

So all that said, I hope pregnant women are okay with one kidney because Steven and I will be donating ours on Monday morning!  When we make a decision and move forward I will update. Please say a prayer for us as this reality is very hard to deal with and our hearts are broken for it to have come to this. Trying to keep the faith and let God do His thing!

Psalm 113:9
He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother. Praise the LORD!

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Thank God I have a rich daddy (in heaven that is). I'm continuing to have faith and believe. I don't care if they tell me I don't have a uterus at all!

Until I see some results...




P.S. If you get a chance, go listen to this song. And get your tissue out! It's precious!  MySpace.com - Kellie Coffey - OKLAHOMA CITY, Oklahoma - Country / Pop / Rock - www.myspace.com/kelliecoffeyartistpage. It's called I would die for that. It looks like the play button is above the actual song so if you start listening to something else go press the one above it!

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