It's the most wonderful time of tha year...

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Turkey baster...meet Jessica...Jessica...meet a turkey baster~ MERRY freakin CHRISTMAS! Whaaaa?  So yeah, um today was my "big" appointment to decide what to "do from here"! I decided at last that Steven should probably break down and go with me. Up to this point I transcribed the information without difficulty, however I didn't think making a decision like this was "I'll let you know" appropriate. So off we went! The doctor said exactly what I expected her to say. "Your not getting any younger, this is the next step, statistics say...yada yada yaaaaaa". She asked me what the ETA was on my egg making it's appearance. "Monday" I told her mostly expecting her to say "okay well lets plan on starting in January". Not so much! She said "well that's great! I'm on call this weekend so if it happens early we can meet here to do the procedure". WHAAAAAAT? I wish I could describe the looks that shot between Steven and I! lol! Um okay, well we were planning to go to Florida this weekend for our 2nd anniversary but... maybe I'll get turkey basted instead! Can I bring some friends and champagne and make it a party? Let's get ur done! I have no idea what I was prepared for, or what I was expecting, but I'm kinda still in shock. This is happening very fast...
We went through all of the incidentals, such as where Steven would make his contribution (hahahahaha =) yea, I'm like a second grader snickering in his peripheral vision), as well as, the shot I will need to induce ovulation at just the perfect moment. I will go back tomorrow to have an ultrasound so she can get an idea of when the little monster will slipidy slide on down the road to glory! At that point she will let me know weather or not I can go on vacation, and which TWO, yes I said two days I will need to be in for my... ahemmm, procedure. Two times the fun! Nothing like a little turkey basting to get me in the holiday spirit~
For those of you asking, I'll explain a little bit about the physical procedure.
Intrauterine insemination (IUI) is a procedure which involves placing sperm inside a woman’s uterus to facilitate fertilization. It's kinda like ghetto artificial insemination! bhahahaIUI is a fertility treatment that uses a catheter to place a number of washed sperm directly into the uterus. The goal of IUI is to increase the number of sperm that reach the fallopian tubes and subsequently increase the chance of fertilization. Generally it is a fertility treatment often selected by couples who have been trying to conceive for at least one year but who have no known reasons for their infertility. Although IUI still requires the sperm to reach and fertilize the egg on its own, it is important to make sure that the sperm is healthy and mobile. IUI provides the sperm an advantage by giving it a head start, but it still has to seek out the egg on its own. Go little Elliott sperm go! I want to make a banner for them! 

hayyyy! how you durin?

How does IUI work?

The IUI procedure is simple and may be performed even if the woman is not receiving medication to improve her egg production. Many physicians will encourage women to take medications to stimulate the ovaries in order to increase egg production and, hopefully, the chance of achieving pregnancy (thus the Clomid I have been on for 3 months now).An ultrasound will be used to monitor the size of the follicles (follicles develop into eggs). The hormone, human Chorionic Gonadotropin (hCG), is administered to stimulate the release of eggs from the follicles within 34-40 hours.A semen sample will be processed by the lab in order to separate the semen from the seminal fluid (only the biggest and best for me hahahaha). A catheter is used to inject the processed sperm directly into the uterus. This process maximizes the number of sperm cells that are placed in the uterus and thus increases the possibility of conception. The next step involves that dreaded TWO WEEK WAIT! As it happens, I will find out December 19-20th. What a Christmas this will be! Weather or not this works out, we feel like it's time to be proactive. My puppy daddy, and I have made the decision to try this a few times (with any luck, and a little helping push from God's hands, only once) to see if it works for us.  And for the record, I did not manipulate him into this. Although his reasons for concern were very valid, after a little bit of education and maybe a tensy, tiny bit of screaming, crying, wailing and gnashing of teeth, he saw things a little more clearly! (JK) We prayed hard about this, and we both have found peace with it.  So, as much as I love the hormone induced night sweats, hot flashes, suicidal/homicidal thoughts, erratic behavior, horrible nightmares, dry mouth and blurry vision I get to encounter every month, I will breathe a sigh of relief to give this journey the heck up! I would be a total liar to say that this doesn't give me renewed hope, and excitement. That being said, the very thought of it makes me cringe. I am moving slowly and carefully through the myriad of feelings that the thought of this IUI produces. What most people find exciting and the happiest moment of their lives, I live in trepidation of. This has been anything but fun and exciting. 
LOL). I can't even imagine how it will feel. I guess the old adage is true, the harder you have to work for something, the more you will appreciate it. I can say that while I will always appreciate the difficulty of this experience, I will forget every single horrible feeling, every month of disappointment, every hot flash, every single one of the million tears I have cried over the past 18 months, the second I see that sweet face! And ... I will probably do it all over again!All of that being said, this whole process comes with renewed excitement, and with horrible anxieties and fears. I fight the thoughts of preparing myself for disappointment, while trying to stay positive and be excited for a supposedly exciting time! I'm telling you what, it's hard to appreciate the trillion feelings and thoughts that roll through my precious little head in one day. It's enough to torment your soul right out of you.

But God.
I have a promise. I have my faith. Weather or not I ever birth a baby, it makes no difference. I don't blame God (not anymore)! I refuse to believe that this will not happen for me. For those of you that know me, I am stubborn as an ox. I will not go down without a fight. I will not be robbed of something that clearly is mine. I'll have to give it to the old man upstairs (He lets me call Him that. We tight!), He's about worn this ol oxen (is that a female ox? idk. anyways you get the point) completely out. I get the mental picture of my dad spanking me (yes it happened a few thousand times ahahaha). He would chase me in a circle around, and around until I got the point, or he got tired! I wonder sometimes if God isn't chasing me in a circle. Only one problem with that. He's got more energy, and more time that I do. Really, I do believe that He will go to extraordinary lengths to get our attention sometimes. To the extent that He will allow hurtful circumstances to come your way, simply to remind you that you need Him, and that He still cares. If we never needed God, what would be the point? Well clearly, I am not in charge of my "5 year plan". He put the old ax on that real quick like so...here I am.He kindly reminded me just today...

He is my father! What dad doesn't want the absolute best for his child? He is going to bring me through this whole experience a bigger and better person. You can all attest to my miracle when it gets here! AND you all know that I am kinda fond of dramatic entrances, so it' s should be no shock that my baby will make a grand one!  Until then, He's got her/him hemmed up taking all my sugar! Guess I'll have to suck the faces off of my 19 friends babies for now!

Hi angel Elliott! We are waiting on you!

You think it will look like me? lolol

should have named me Jessichin lyn flo!

Okay, I really have to go to sleep now, so I'll update asap! Please keep us in your prayers over the next few weeks. I will probably not be in my seat of rest, where I should be, but I sure am gonna try!
Happy Holidays! (Probably not all that thrilled about turkey now are ya?)

I don't want to live my life with an Ishmael, when I deserve and am destined for an Isaac!

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Well hope everybody had a great holiday season! I know I did! It was not nearly as hard as I anticipated it would be. It's been a while since I blogged, partially because I have been ridiculously busy, and partially because I just haven't felt like dealing with this. As most of you  know, I have the IUI done in December. Obviously that didn't work out for me. I finished 5 months of Clomid before I made an executive decision...TO QUIT! I went to Bible talk one night and my dad was talking about something totally unrelated to this, but in my ADD moment I started to flip through the Bible. I went to the story of Abraham and Sarah. All at once I had my own little epiphany!
God had a plan for Sarah. His plan was for her to stay out of His plan, and let Him do what He does best...be God. Well Sarah had her own idea. I'll relay how I think the story must have gone.Sarah: I think I'll help God out a little bit. I am having trouble having a baby so I think I'll get ol Abe a concubine and have her carry my chosen baby.God: Do it my way. I have a plan Sarah. All you have to do is sit back and have faith.Sarah: naw I think I should help.Abe: huh, huh. duh? yeah Sarah, this sounds like an awesome idea.God: Not so much. Leave it alone. I got this.


So Sarah proceeds to get her hubby another baby momma. Abraham listened to God and decided to move His family away from evil, with the promise of an inheritance. Moving is no fun, particularly when your moving van is a camel or a donkey, and especially when you don’t even know where you are going!  That is probably harder on a woman than it is on a man. Sarah is not mentioned in that verse, but her faith is there, every bit as steadfast as Abraham’s. She believed that God would sustain her through the arduous journey and show her husband the place he had chosen for them. Sarah was an intelligent and capable woman. But when she married Abraham she made a decision. She established as her mission in life the task of helping her husband fulfill God’s purposes for him.  I do not believe that Sarah did this with a spiteful or manipulative heart. The next great strain on their faith is revealed in this statement: “Now Sarai, Abram’s wife had borne him no children” (Gen. 16:1). God was soon to change Abram’s name to Abraham, from “exalted father” to “father of a multitude.” How could Abraham be the father of a multitude when he had no son? duh? Now it was Sarah’s turn to devise a clever human scheme. (Enter Jessica conniving here). She offered her Egyptian slave girl, Hagar, so that Abraham might have a son by her. (No I'm not desperate enough to get Steven a hooker!) I must admit that her suggestion revealed her belief that God would keep His word and give Abraham a son. It was obviously motivated by her love for Abraham and her desire for him to have that son. I know this feeling of desperation well. And at the time, sharing her husband with another woman would have been one of the most sacrificial things she could do. But it was not God’s way. It was another fleshly solution. And God’s ways are always best even when He is withholding what we think we need at the moment (ouch). I have had no evil intent in this either, however my intent is just that...my intent...not His intent. This impulsive sin had its effect on the relationship between Abraham and Sarah. Hagar got pregnant and eventually became proud and unmanageable. Sarah blamed Abraham for the whole problem when it was actually her own idea. Then she took it out on Hagar, and her unkindness exposed the bitterness and resentment in her soul. Meanwhile, Abraham shirked his duty. He should have said “No” to Sarah’s sinful scheme in the first place. But now he told her to handle the problem herself, to do whatever she wanted to do, but to stop badgering him about it(Steven, lol).
You see even great men and women of faith have their moments of faithlessness (or days, or weeks). And no such moment was worse for Abraham and Sarah than when they laughed at God. They both did it. God told Abraham he would bless Sarah and make her a mother of nations. Kings of peoples would come from her. Abraham fell on his face and laughed, and said, “Will a child be born to a man one hundred years old? And will Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?” (Gen. 17:17). Abraham tried to get God to accept Ishmael as his heir, but God said, “No, but Sarah your wife shall bear you a son, and you shall call his name Isaac; and I will establish My covenant with him for an everlasting covenant for his descendants after him” (Gen. 17:19).Sarah’s turn was next. The Lord appeared to Abraham in the person of a visitor to his tent, and Sarah overheard him say, “I will surely return to you at this time next year; and behold, Sarah your wife shall have a son” (Gen. 18:10). She was listening at the tent door and laughed to herself, saying, “After I have become old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?” (Gen. 18:12).  “Is anything too difficult for the Lord?” (Gen. 18:13, 14). That poignant challenge pierced their faltering hearts, and faith was rekindled, strong and steadfast. There was that brief setback in Gerar (Gen. 20:1-8). But basically things were different from that moment on.
I said all of that to say...that was my moment. At Bible study that night. The last 19 months have consisted of me laughing at God. What an ass I am! lol. Really? I either believe, or I don't. My friends, I do believe. Who am I that I would laugh at God? That's dumb. Real dumb.Wow! I'm a little ballsier than I thought. I don't want to live my life with an Ishmael, when I deserve and am destined for an Isaac! So in spite of the fact that I had the money to do two more IUI's, I have chosen not to. Instead I am going to Europe to visit my sister...and REST. Take my seat of rest in MY FATHER! I quit taking all of the drugs, and subsequently I have felt more peace than I have in almost two years. I still have my days...like yesterday! I get rowdy with God and show Him my attitude problem. He's well aware that I am strong willed and I "just want to help", but He is not participating with my plan. I often have wondered, how many years sooner may God have hand delivered Isaac, if Sarah had obeyed and listened and quit "trying to help" Him. Did she delay her destiny with her scheming?
I don't want to prolong, delay or mess up my destiny, and the destiny of my precious baby. He or she has a set time and a set place to show up here. God has set times and He is never late (unlike me). I don't want to have the kind of faith that only believes when things are going my way. This journey began unexpectedly, and in the meantime, look what I have become! (Not that I wasn't great before that lolol =)). This baby, MY baby, has a sweet destiny and a sweet call. I refuse to settle for anything less than a God ordained Isaac~!
If I have repeated it once, I have repeated it a thousand times this week. 

Jeremiah 29:11

New International Version (NIV)¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Hope, a future and a baby!
I wish I had a magic cure that would make me feel better, but my instincts tell me that having a baby under normal circumstances wouldn't even do the trick.
I LOVE DRAMATIC ENTRANCES AND BOY IS THIS MIRACLE GOING TO TOP THEM ALL?! THAT'S HOW I ROLL YALL! 
I'll keep updating as I can but in the meantime when you see my derogatory facebook comments or I'm having a "moment", please find a scripture to remind me that He wants the best for me! I need encouragement more than the next girl! 
p.s. This hoe was 90 years old and abe was 100! WHAAAA? Surely if God can dust that old thing off and use it, I'm good to go! ahahahahaha

The name Isaac comes from the word "Yitzhak" (also Yitzchaq) in Hebrew, which means "Laughing One", "laughter" or "to laugh".  How appropriate is that for me?  Isaac has one meaning as given by GOD HIMSELF to Abraham in Genesis.  It means ''child of the covenant'' or ''child of the promise''. God cannot give the name of His promised child ''laughter'' because this has spiritual significance. God values names very much. *Genesis17:19- And God said, Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son indeed; and thou shalt call his name Isaac: and I will establish my covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his seed after him.I think I'll let God name my boy! =)

"I can't have a testimony without a test"

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Well, here is the update. Try to stick with me as I endeavor to explain a very complicated process via blog! There is good news and bad news! The good news is that I can't eat jack and I have lost 3 pounds this week! And that's about where it ends. Up until now Steven and I have been told that I have 2 out of 3 things wrong. We were made aware this week at the fertility clinic that I have 3 out of 3 wrong! (I always say, "go big or go home" right?) So...now we are faced with a decision. The doctor has advised us that she wants to do 2 more IUI procedures adding stimulation medications and ovulation medication to assist with this. I am not producing enough follicles and therefore the chance of an egg being produced is slim to none. My uterus is misshapen, and my hormones completely whacked (SHOCKING). Basically this is the deal. We are having to come up with 1500 bucks per cycle and the first cycle should start this week...no pressure. I will inject meds and take them by mouth. I will have ultrasounds, another HSG which will tell her exactly what my uterus looks like, and then we will try to get the eggs to come out and play. I would undergo the IUI in about 3 weeks. 

I am overwhelmed and scared. Steven and I are praying and well, worrying about what the right thing to do is. According to the specialist we have less than a 10% chance of ever conceiving and carrying a baby naturally. These medications will at least put me back up to a 20-25% chance of conceiving. That's a normal chance. The risks are minimal. If the meds make me produce too many eggs, they will simply go in with a huge needle and puncture all of the small eggs. Easy peasy right? (WTH?)...the other risk is...
It is estimated that the risk of becoming pregnant with twins while taking letrozole is 10%, while the risk of becoming pregnant with triplets is less than 1%. On the other hand, women who take gonadotropins in conjunction with IUI have as much as a 30% chance for multiple and high-order pregnancies and births. 


OH MMMMMMMMMMM GEEEEEEE.
I Found this video and it pretty well depicts this whole process in 3d. Take a look!

So all that said, I hope pregnant women are okay with one kidney because Steven and I will be donating ours on Monday morning!  When we make a decision and move forward I will update. Please say a prayer for us as this reality is very hard to deal with and our hearts are broken for it to have come to this. Trying to keep the faith and let God do His thing!

Psalm 113:9
He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother. Praise the LORD!

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Thank God I have a rich daddy (in heaven that is). I'm continuing to have faith and believe. I don't care if they tell me I don't have a uterus at all!

Until I see some results...




P.S. If you get a chance, go listen to this song. And get your tissue out! It's precious!  MySpace.com - Kellie Coffey - OKLAHOMA CITY, Oklahoma - Country / Pop / Rock - www.myspace.com/kelliecoffeyartistpage. It's called I would die for that. It looks like the play button is above the actual song so if you start listening to something else go press the one above it!

"An Angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth. And whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for earth."

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Hello all! I just though I would send out an update! Thank you all for the sweet messages of concern and prayer. Please keep them coming as they are very needed these next few weeks especially! 


I started my Lupron shots on the 26th and other than the actual medicine stinging like crazy and a few crying spells, and an allergic reaction on my arms, I haven't noticed any side effects (lol, I love to be complicated).  I will do my best to explain what the meds do since I have people ask me constantly. Lupron in a nutshell causes a "flare effect". The flare effect of Lupron can be used at the beginning of a fresh IVF cycle to help stimulate the development and maturation of eggs. Lupron is given for a few days and then injectable fertility medications are started.  It essentially acts by suppressing the pituitary gland (the gland which is normally responsible for triggering ovulation). However, before suppression occurs, Lupron will briefly stimulate the pituitary causing an increase in the pituitary hormones LH (luteinizing hormone) and FSH (follicle stimulating hormone).

Two days later I started Gonal F injections. Gonal FSH increases the number of growing follicles and stimulates their development. Within the follicles are the developing eggs. FSH also increases the production of oestrogen, and under the influence of this hormone, the largest follicle continues to develop. This medicine is used to stimulate the development of follicles and eggs in women who are having difficulties getting pregnant due to problems with ovulation. 

So the side effects of both of these are:

• Pain, bruising and inflammation at the injection site in men and women.
• Headache in women.
• Ovarian cysts

• Mild to moderate over-stimulation of the ovaries (ovarian hyper stimulation), causing the production of many eggs.
• Disturbances of the gut, such as nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, abdominal cramps and bloating in women.
• Breast enlargement, weight gain, acne and swelling of the veins in the scrotum in men.

I am experiencing every one of them except the scrotal swelling which if Steven doesn't play his cards right...he may experience! (lololol! crack myself up again).
I have this entire week off which is a God send because I am going to need a lot of sleep I do believe. 
Please pray for me this week. As if the hormones are not atrocious enough, this would have been my week to deliver nugget #1! November 6 would have been my first babies due date (at least by my calculations) and anybody that has ever had a miscarriage knows, a mommy never forgets that date. I cannot dwell on the past, however I do feel like that baby deserves some remembrance and I won't ever stop thinking about it! It was my only "first child"! Hopefully I'll be adding a sister or brother to the mix here shortly! 
Enough about that (sniff, sniff)...I go back to the doctor to see my new babies again this Friday. At that point they will assess how the medicines are working and at what stage the eggs are in order to plan their retrieval. November 10 is the tentative date for removing those bad boys. They will put me to sleep and use a very large needle to poke through my uterus and into my ovaries and get each individual egg out of it's nest! How cool is that?! Then we will put them together with Steven contribution to the process, and wait..... 
Somewhere around November 13-15 they will take the good embryos and implant the two best ones back in and WAIT...
All of this is assuming they have enough eggs to harvest and that they survive this process. I am praying and believing that I will produce more than enough and that they will be exceptionally gorgeous! (ha)At this point, if they are ugly PLEASE DON'T TELL ME! I will dress them cute anyway.
Many prayers needed for my health, sanity and marriage over the next month please! 
Here is a sweet reminder of my first angel that I won't ever forget! XOXO sweet fetus!


                       Nothing will ever out do this I don't believe! 
Have a great week!

Top 5 Things You Can Do With an Associate's Degree

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You may think that an associate's degree can't open up as many doors for you as a bachelor's degree.



Think again.



Truth be told, there's a lot you can do with an associate's degree these days. It can a faster, less expensive way to start a one of 2010's top careers, start a rewarding vocational career, or work towards a four-year degree.



Here are our 5 favorite things an associate's degree can do for you:



1. Start a Vocational Career
If you don't want to spend your weekdays locked in a cubicle, there are a lot of fantastic, high-paying vocational careers out there for you to explore. From cosmetology careers to automotive careers, these options can help you to turn your favorite hobby into a paycheck.



To start these careers, you'll need highly-specialized skills. That's where the associate's degree comes in. Many community, junior and technical colleges offer associate's degrees for a variety of vocational careers, which provide the skills and technical know-how you need to get started.



That means the minute you have your degree in hand, you'll be ready to join the workforce. No unpaid internships required.



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Who doesn't want a career that you can start fast, advance in, and make a good paycheck? Associate's degrees are often the keys that can unlock these kinds of career options.



Take nursing, for example. You can become a registered nurse by earning your Associate's of Science in Nursing. In approximately two years, this degree will have you working in a hospital, treating patients and helping doctors.



While you're working as an RN, you can take the next steps by earning a Bachelor's of Science in Nursing online. This will give you more career options, and the chance to eventually earn a Master's of Science in Nursing (MSN). The MSN allows you to become a nurse practitioner and enter a whole range of specialties, some of which pay a higher salary than a doctor's.



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3. Work Towards a Bachelor's Degree
If you want a bachelor's degree, or know you'll need one to eventually advance in your career, but can't commit to a four-year program just yet, an associate's degree is a great place to start.



The associate's degree will allow you to complete your prerequisites and preliminary coursework, many of which will count towards a four-year bachelor's degree program when you're ready to enroll.



(An added bonus: associate's programs tend to be less expensive per credit hour than bachelor's programs, which will allow you to save some serious cash on your first two years of school.)



4. Make a Career Change
Let's say you're already working on a particular career path. One day, you wake up and realize you hate your job and what you really want to do is start a cupcake delivery business. (When you do, feel free to put the myFootpath corporate office address on your delivery route. Thanks.)



But while you need to get some business classes under your belt, you already have a bachelor's degree in accounting, and you don't want to start another four-year program. So what are you to do?



Enter the associate's degree. A specialized associate's degree can build on the education you already have, and provide the knowledge you need to make that career change.



5. Start One of Today's Best Careers
You don't need a PhD in rocket science to land one of today's top careers. These days, an associate's degree is the key to entering one of the 2010 top careers, including veterinary technician careers, dental hygienist careers, physical therapist assistant careers, and more

It's the most wonderful time of tha year...

To contact us Click HERE
Turkey baster...meet Jessica...Jessica...meet a turkey baster~ MERRY freakin CHRISTMAS! Whaaaa?  So yeah, um today was my "big" appointment to decide what to "do from here"! I decided at last that Steven should probably break down and go with me. Up to this point I transcribed the information without difficulty, however I didn't think making a decision like this was "I'll let you know" appropriate. So off we went! The doctor said exactly what I expected her to say. "Your not getting any younger, this is the next step, statistics say...yada yada yaaaaaa". She asked me what the ETA was on my egg making it's appearance. "Monday" I told her mostly expecting her to say "okay well lets plan on starting in January". Not so much! She said "well that's great! I'm on call this weekend so if it happens early we can meet here to do the procedure". WHAAAAAAT? I wish I could describe the looks that shot between Steven and I! lol! Um okay, well we were planning to go to Florida this weekend for our 2nd anniversary but... maybe I'll get turkey basted instead! Can I bring some friends and champagne and make it a party? Let's get ur done! I have no idea what I was prepared for, or what I was expecting, but I'm kinda still in shock. This is happening very fast...
We went through all of the incidentals, such as where Steven would make his contribution (hahahahaha =) yea, I'm like a second grader snickering in his peripheral vision), as well as, the shot I will need to induce ovulation at just the perfect moment. I will go back tomorrow to have an ultrasound so she can get an idea of when the little monster will slipidy slide on down the road to glory! At that point she will let me know weather or not I can go on vacation, and which TWO, yes I said two days I will need to be in for my... ahemmm, procedure. Two times the fun! Nothing like a little turkey basting to get me in the holiday spirit~
For those of you asking, I'll explain a little bit about the physical procedure.
Intrauterine insemination (IUI) is a procedure which involves placing sperm inside a woman’s uterus to facilitate fertilization. It's kinda like ghetto artificial insemination! bhahahaIUI is a fertility treatment that uses a catheter to place a number of washed sperm directly into the uterus. The goal of IUI is to increase the number of sperm that reach the fallopian tubes and subsequently increase the chance of fertilization. Generally it is a fertility treatment often selected by couples who have been trying to conceive for at least one year but who have no known reasons for their infertility. Although IUI still requires the sperm to reach and fertilize the egg on its own, it is important to make sure that the sperm is healthy and mobile. IUI provides the sperm an advantage by giving it a head start, but it still has to seek out the egg on its own. Go little Elliott sperm go! I want to make a banner for them! 

hayyyy! how you durin?

How does IUI work?

The IUI procedure is simple and may be performed even if the woman is not receiving medication to improve her egg production. Many physicians will encourage women to take medications to stimulate the ovaries in order to increase egg production and, hopefully, the chance of achieving pregnancy (thus the Clomid I have been on for 3 months now).An ultrasound will be used to monitor the size of the follicles (follicles develop into eggs). The hormone, human Chorionic Gonadotropin (hCG), is administered to stimulate the release of eggs from the follicles within 34-40 hours.A semen sample will be processed by the lab in order to separate the semen from the seminal fluid (only the biggest and best for me hahahaha). A catheter is used to inject the processed sperm directly into the uterus. This process maximizes the number of sperm cells that are placed in the uterus and thus increases the possibility of conception. The next step involves that dreaded TWO WEEK WAIT! As it happens, I will find out December 19-20th. What a Christmas this will be! Weather or not this works out, we feel like it's time to be proactive. My puppy daddy, and I have made the decision to try this a few times (with any luck, and a little helping push from God's hands, only once) to see if it works for us.  And for the record, I did not manipulate him into this. Although his reasons for concern were very valid, after a little bit of education and maybe a tensy, tiny bit of screaming, crying, wailing and gnashing of teeth, he saw things a little more clearly! (JK) We prayed hard about this, and we both have found peace with it.  So, as much as I love the hormone induced night sweats, hot flashes, suicidal/homicidal thoughts, erratic behavior, horrible nightmares, dry mouth and blurry vision I get to encounter every month, I will breathe a sigh of relief to give this journey the heck up! I would be a total liar to say that this doesn't give me renewed hope, and excitement. That being said, the very thought of it makes me cringe. I am moving slowly and carefully through the myriad of feelings that the thought of this IUI produces. What most people find exciting and the happiest moment of their lives, I live in trepidation of. This has been anything but fun and exciting. 
LOL). I can't even imagine how it will feel. I guess the old adage is true, the harder you have to work for something, the more you will appreciate it. I can say that while I will always appreciate the difficulty of this experience, I will forget every single horrible feeling, every month of disappointment, every hot flash, every single one of the million tears I have cried over the past 18 months, the second I see that sweet face! And ... I will probably do it all over again!All of that being said, this whole process comes with renewed excitement, and with horrible anxieties and fears. I fight the thoughts of preparing myself for disappointment, while trying to stay positive and be excited for a supposedly exciting time! I'm telling you what, it's hard to appreciate the trillion feelings and thoughts that roll through my precious little head in one day. It's enough to torment your soul right out of you.

But God.
I have a promise. I have my faith. Weather or not I ever birth a baby, it makes no difference. I don't blame God (not anymore)! I refuse to believe that this will not happen for me. For those of you that know me, I am stubborn as an ox. I will not go down without a fight. I will not be robbed of something that clearly is mine. I'll have to give it to the old man upstairs (He lets me call Him that. We tight!), He's about worn this ol oxen (is that a female ox? idk. anyways you get the point) completely out. I get the mental picture of my dad spanking me (yes it happened a few thousand times ahahaha). He would chase me in a circle around, and around until I got the point, or he got tired! I wonder sometimes if God isn't chasing me in a circle. Only one problem with that. He's got more energy, and more time that I do. Really, I do believe that He will go to extraordinary lengths to get our attention sometimes. To the extent that He will allow hurtful circumstances to come your way, simply to remind you that you need Him, and that He still cares. If we never needed God, what would be the point? Well clearly, I am not in charge of my "5 year plan". He put the old ax on that real quick like so...here I am.He kindly reminded me just today...

He is my father! What dad doesn't want the absolute best for his child? He is going to bring me through this whole experience a bigger and better person. You can all attest to my miracle when it gets here! AND you all know that I am kinda fond of dramatic entrances, so it' s should be no shock that my baby will make a grand one!  Until then, He's got her/him hemmed up taking all my sugar! Guess I'll have to suck the faces off of my 19 friends babies for now!

Hi angel Elliott! We are waiting on you!

You think it will look like me? lolol

should have named me Jessichin lyn flo!

Okay, I really have to go to sleep now, so I'll update asap! Please keep us in your prayers over the next few weeks. I will probably not be in my seat of rest, where I should be, but I sure am gonna try!
Happy Holidays! (Probably not all that thrilled about turkey now are ya?)

I don't want to live my life with an Ishmael, when I deserve and am destined for an Isaac!

To contact us Click HERE


Well hope everybody had a great holiday season! I know I did! It was not nearly as hard as I anticipated it would be. It's been a while since I blogged, partially because I have been ridiculously busy, and partially because I just haven't felt like dealing with this. As most of you  know, I have the IUI done in December. Obviously that didn't work out for me. I finished 5 months of Clomid before I made an executive decision...TO QUIT! I went to Bible talk one night and my dad was talking about something totally unrelated to this, but in my ADD moment I started to flip through the Bible. I went to the story of Abraham and Sarah. All at once I had my own little epiphany!
God had a plan for Sarah. His plan was for her to stay out of His plan, and let Him do what He does best...be God. Well Sarah had her own idea. I'll relay how I think the story must have gone.Sarah: I think I'll help God out a little bit. I am having trouble having a baby so I think I'll get ol Abe a concubine and have her carry my chosen baby.God: Do it my way. I have a plan Sarah. All you have to do is sit back and have faith.Sarah: naw I think I should help.Abe: huh, huh. duh? yeah Sarah, this sounds like an awesome idea.God: Not so much. Leave it alone. I got this.


So Sarah proceeds to get her hubby another baby momma. Abraham listened to God and decided to move His family away from evil, with the promise of an inheritance. Moving is no fun, particularly when your moving van is a camel or a donkey, and especially when you don’t even know where you are going!  That is probably harder on a woman than it is on a man. Sarah is not mentioned in that verse, but her faith is there, every bit as steadfast as Abraham’s. She believed that God would sustain her through the arduous journey and show her husband the place he had chosen for them. Sarah was an intelligent and capable woman. But when she married Abraham she made a decision. She established as her mission in life the task of helping her husband fulfill God’s purposes for him.  I do not believe that Sarah did this with a spiteful or manipulative heart. The next great strain on their faith is revealed in this statement: “Now Sarai, Abram’s wife had borne him no children” (Gen. 16:1). God was soon to change Abram’s name to Abraham, from “exalted father” to “father of a multitude.” How could Abraham be the father of a multitude when he had no son? duh? Now it was Sarah’s turn to devise a clever human scheme. (Enter Jessica conniving here). She offered her Egyptian slave girl, Hagar, so that Abraham might have a son by her. (No I'm not desperate enough to get Steven a hooker!) I must admit that her suggestion revealed her belief that God would keep His word and give Abraham a son. It was obviously motivated by her love for Abraham and her desire for him to have that son. I know this feeling of desperation well. And at the time, sharing her husband with another woman would have been one of the most sacrificial things she could do. But it was not God’s way. It was another fleshly solution. And God’s ways are always best even when He is withholding what we think we need at the moment (ouch). I have had no evil intent in this either, however my intent is just that...my intent...not His intent. This impulsive sin had its effect on the relationship between Abraham and Sarah. Hagar got pregnant and eventually became proud and unmanageable. Sarah blamed Abraham for the whole problem when it was actually her own idea. Then she took it out on Hagar, and her unkindness exposed the bitterness and resentment in her soul. Meanwhile, Abraham shirked his duty. He should have said “No” to Sarah’s sinful scheme in the first place. But now he told her to handle the problem herself, to do whatever she wanted to do, but to stop badgering him about it(Steven, lol).
You see even great men and women of faith have their moments of faithlessness (or days, or weeks). And no such moment was worse for Abraham and Sarah than when they laughed at God. They both did it. God told Abraham he would bless Sarah and make her a mother of nations. Kings of peoples would come from her. Abraham fell on his face and laughed, and said, “Will a child be born to a man one hundred years old? And will Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?” (Gen. 17:17). Abraham tried to get God to accept Ishmael as his heir, but God said, “No, but Sarah your wife shall bear you a son, and you shall call his name Isaac; and I will establish My covenant with him for an everlasting covenant for his descendants after him” (Gen. 17:19).Sarah’s turn was next. The Lord appeared to Abraham in the person of a visitor to his tent, and Sarah overheard him say, “I will surely return to you at this time next year; and behold, Sarah your wife shall have a son” (Gen. 18:10). She was listening at the tent door and laughed to herself, saying, “After I have become old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?” (Gen. 18:12).  “Is anything too difficult for the Lord?” (Gen. 18:13, 14). That poignant challenge pierced their faltering hearts, and faith was rekindled, strong and steadfast. There was that brief setback in Gerar (Gen. 20:1-8). But basically things were different from that moment on.
I said all of that to say...that was my moment. At Bible study that night. The last 19 months have consisted of me laughing at God. What an ass I am! lol. Really? I either believe, or I don't. My friends, I do believe. Who am I that I would laugh at God? That's dumb. Real dumb.Wow! I'm a little ballsier than I thought. I don't want to live my life with an Ishmael, when I deserve and am destined for an Isaac! So in spite of the fact that I had the money to do two more IUI's, I have chosen not to. Instead I am going to Europe to visit my sister...and REST. Take my seat of rest in MY FATHER! I quit taking all of the drugs, and subsequently I have felt more peace than I have in almost two years. I still have my days...like yesterday! I get rowdy with God and show Him my attitude problem. He's well aware that I am strong willed and I "just want to help", but He is not participating with my plan. I often have wondered, how many years sooner may God have hand delivered Isaac, if Sarah had obeyed and listened and quit "trying to help" Him. Did she delay her destiny with her scheming?
I don't want to prolong, delay or mess up my destiny, and the destiny of my precious baby. He or she has a set time and a set place to show up here. God has set times and He is never late (unlike me). I don't want to have the kind of faith that only believes when things are going my way. This journey began unexpectedly, and in the meantime, look what I have become! (Not that I wasn't great before that lolol =)). This baby, MY baby, has a sweet destiny and a sweet call. I refuse to settle for anything less than a God ordained Isaac~!
If I have repeated it once, I have repeated it a thousand times this week. 

Jeremiah 29:11

New International Version (NIV)¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Hope, a future and a baby!
I wish I had a magic cure that would make me feel better, but my instincts tell me that having a baby under normal circumstances wouldn't even do the trick.
I LOVE DRAMATIC ENTRANCES AND BOY IS THIS MIRACLE GOING TO TOP THEM ALL?! THAT'S HOW I ROLL YALL! 
I'll keep updating as I can but in the meantime when you see my derogatory facebook comments or I'm having a "moment", please find a scripture to remind me that He wants the best for me! I need encouragement more than the next girl! 
p.s. This hoe was 90 years old and abe was 100! WHAAAA? Surely if God can dust that old thing off and use it, I'm good to go! ahahahahaha

The name Isaac comes from the word "Yitzhak" (also Yitzchaq) in Hebrew, which means "Laughing One", "laughter" or "to laugh".  How appropriate is that for me?  Isaac has one meaning as given by GOD HIMSELF to Abraham in Genesis.  It means ''child of the covenant'' or ''child of the promise''. God cannot give the name of His promised child ''laughter'' because this has spiritual significance. God values names very much. *Genesis17:19- And God said, Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son indeed; and thou shalt call his name Isaac: and I will establish my covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his seed after him.I think I'll let God name my boy! =)

"I can't have a testimony without a test"

To contact us Click HERE
Well, here is the update. Try to stick with me as I endeavor to explain a very complicated process via blog! There is good news and bad news! The good news is that I can't eat jack and I have lost 3 pounds this week! And that's about where it ends. Up until now Steven and I have been told that I have 2 out of 3 things wrong. We were made aware this week at the fertility clinic that I have 3 out of 3 wrong! (I always say, "go big or go home" right?) So...now we are faced with a decision. The doctor has advised us that she wants to do 2 more IUI procedures adding stimulation medications and ovulation medication to assist with this. I am not producing enough follicles and therefore the chance of an egg being produced is slim to none. My uterus is misshapen, and my hormones completely whacked (SHOCKING). Basically this is the deal. We are having to come up with 1500 bucks per cycle and the first cycle should start this week...no pressure. I will inject meds and take them by mouth. I will have ultrasounds, another HSG which will tell her exactly what my uterus looks like, and then we will try to get the eggs to come out and play. I would undergo the IUI in about 3 weeks. 

I am overwhelmed and scared. Steven and I are praying and well, worrying about what the right thing to do is. According to the specialist we have less than a 10% chance of ever conceiving and carrying a baby naturally. These medications will at least put me back up to a 20-25% chance of conceiving. That's a normal chance. The risks are minimal. If the meds make me produce too many eggs, they will simply go in with a huge needle and puncture all of the small eggs. Easy peasy right? (WTH?)...the other risk is...
It is estimated that the risk of becoming pregnant with twins while taking letrozole is 10%, while the risk of becoming pregnant with triplets is less than 1%. On the other hand, women who take gonadotropins in conjunction with IUI have as much as a 30% chance for multiple and high-order pregnancies and births. 


OH MMMMMMMMMMM GEEEEEEE.
I Found this video and it pretty well depicts this whole process in 3d. Take a look!

So all that said, I hope pregnant women are okay with one kidney because Steven and I will be donating ours on Monday morning!  When we make a decision and move forward I will update. Please say a prayer for us as this reality is very hard to deal with and our hearts are broken for it to have come to this. Trying to keep the faith and let God do His thing!

Psalm 113:9
He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother. Praise the LORD!

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

Thank God I have a rich daddy (in heaven that is). I'm continuing to have faith and believe. I don't care if they tell me I don't have a uterus at all!

Until I see some results...




P.S. If you get a chance, go listen to this song. And get your tissue out! It's precious!  MySpace.com - Kellie Coffey - OKLAHOMA CITY, Oklahoma - Country / Pop / Rock - www.myspace.com/kelliecoffeyartistpage. It's called I would die for that. It looks like the play button is above the actual song so if you start listening to something else go press the one above it!

"An Angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth. And whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for earth."

To contact us Click HERE
Hello all! I just though I would send out an update! Thank you all for the sweet messages of concern and prayer. Please keep them coming as they are very needed these next few weeks especially! 


I started my Lupron shots on the 26th and other than the actual medicine stinging like crazy and a few crying spells, and an allergic reaction on my arms, I haven't noticed any side effects (lol, I love to be complicated).  I will do my best to explain what the meds do since I have people ask me constantly. Lupron in a nutshell causes a "flare effect". The flare effect of Lupron can be used at the beginning of a fresh IVF cycle to help stimulate the development and maturation of eggs. Lupron is given for a few days and then injectable fertility medications are started.  It essentially acts by suppressing the pituitary gland (the gland which is normally responsible for triggering ovulation). However, before suppression occurs, Lupron will briefly stimulate the pituitary causing an increase in the pituitary hormones LH (luteinizing hormone) and FSH (follicle stimulating hormone).

Two days later I started Gonal F injections. Gonal FSH increases the number of growing follicles and stimulates their development. Within the follicles are the developing eggs. FSH also increases the production of oestrogen, and under the influence of this hormone, the largest follicle continues to develop. This medicine is used to stimulate the development of follicles and eggs in women who are having difficulties getting pregnant due to problems with ovulation. 

So the side effects of both of these are:

• Pain, bruising and inflammation at the injection site in men and women.
• Headache in women.
• Ovarian cysts

• Mild to moderate over-stimulation of the ovaries (ovarian hyper stimulation), causing the production of many eggs.
• Disturbances of the gut, such as nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, abdominal cramps and bloating in women.
• Breast enlargement, weight gain, acne and swelling of the veins in the scrotum in men.

I am experiencing every one of them except the scrotal swelling which if Steven doesn't play his cards right...he may experience! (lololol! crack myself up again).
I have this entire week off which is a God send because I am going to need a lot of sleep I do believe. 
Please pray for me this week. As if the hormones are not atrocious enough, this would have been my week to deliver nugget #1! November 6 would have been my first babies due date (at least by my calculations) and anybody that has ever had a miscarriage knows, a mommy never forgets that date. I cannot dwell on the past, however I do feel like that baby deserves some remembrance and I won't ever stop thinking about it! It was my only "first child"! Hopefully I'll be adding a sister or brother to the mix here shortly! 
Enough about that (sniff, sniff)...I go back to the doctor to see my new babies again this Friday. At that point they will assess how the medicines are working and at what stage the eggs are in order to plan their retrieval. November 10 is the tentative date for removing those bad boys. They will put me to sleep and use a very large needle to poke through my uterus and into my ovaries and get each individual egg out of it's nest! How cool is that?! Then we will put them together with Steven contribution to the process, and wait..... 
Somewhere around November 13-15 they will take the good embryos and implant the two best ones back in and WAIT...
All of this is assuming they have enough eggs to harvest and that they survive this process. I am praying and believing that I will produce more than enough and that they will be exceptionally gorgeous! (ha)At this point, if they are ugly PLEASE DON'T TELL ME! I will dress them cute anyway.
Many prayers needed for my health, sanity and marriage over the next month please! 
Here is a sweet reminder of my first angel that I won't ever forget! XOXO sweet fetus!


                       Nothing will ever out do this I don't believe! 
Have a great week!

Top 5 Things You Can Do With an Associate's Degree

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You may think that an associate's degree can't open up as many doors for you as a bachelor's degree.



Think again.



Truth be told, there's a lot you can do with an associate's degree these days. It can a faster, less expensive way to start a one of 2010's top careers, start a rewarding vocational career, or work towards a four-year degree.



Here are our 5 favorite things an associate's degree can do for you:



1. Start a Vocational Career
If you don't want to spend your weekdays locked in a cubicle, there are a lot of fantastic, high-paying vocational careers out there for you to explore. From cosmetology careers to automotive careers, these options can help you to turn your favorite hobby into a paycheck.



To start these careers, you'll need highly-specialized skills. That's where the associate's degree comes in. Many community, junior and technical colleges offer associate's degrees for a variety of vocational careers, which provide the skills and technical know-how you need to get started.



That means the minute you have your degree in hand, you'll be ready to join the workforce. No unpaid internships required.



2. Start a Career You Can Advance In
Who doesn't want a career that you can start fast, advance in, and make a good paycheck? Associate's degrees are often the keys that can unlock these kinds of career options.



Take nursing, for example. You can become a registered nurse by earning your Associate's of Science in Nursing. In approximately two years, this degree will have you working in a hospital, treating patients and helping doctors.



While you're working as an RN, you can take the next steps by earning a Bachelor's of Science in Nursing online. This will give you more career options, and the chance to eventually earn a Master's of Science in Nursing (MSN). The MSN allows you to become a nurse practitioner and enter a whole range of specialties, some of which pay a higher salary than a doctor's.



And it all starts with the associate's degree.



3. Work Towards a Bachelor's Degree
If you want a bachelor's degree, or know you'll need one to eventually advance in your career, but can't commit to a four-year program just yet, an associate's degree is a great place to start.



The associate's degree will allow you to complete your prerequisites and preliminary coursework, many of which will count towards a four-year bachelor's degree program when you're ready to enroll.



(An added bonus: associate's programs tend to be less expensive per credit hour than bachelor's programs, which will allow you to save some serious cash on your first two years of school.)



4. Make a Career Change
Let's say you're already working on a particular career path. One day, you wake up and realize you hate your job and what you really want to do is start a cupcake delivery business. (When you do, feel free to put the myFootpath corporate office address on your delivery route. Thanks.)



But while you need to get some business classes under your belt, you already have a bachelor's degree in accounting, and you don't want to start another four-year program. So what are you to do?



Enter the associate's degree. A specialized associate's degree can build on the education you already have, and provide the knowledge you need to make that career change.



5. Start One of Today's Best Careers
You don't need a PhD in rocket science to land one of today's top careers. These days, an associate's degree is the key to entering one of the 2010 top careers, including veterinary technician careers, dental hygienist careers, physical therapist assistant careers, and more

"An Angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth. And whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for earth."

To contact us Click HERE
Hello all! I just though I would send out an update! Thank you all for the sweet messages of concern and prayer. Please keep them coming as they are very needed these next few weeks especially! 


I started my Lupron shots on the 26th and other than the actual medicine stinging like crazy and a few crying spells, and an allergic reaction on my arms, I haven't noticed any side effects (lol, I love to be complicated).  I will do my best to explain what the meds do since I have people ask me constantly. Lupron in a nutshell causes a "flare effect". The flare effect of Lupron can be used at the beginning of a fresh IVF cycle to help stimulate the development and maturation of eggs. Lupron is given for a few days and then injectable fertility medications are started.  It essentially acts by suppressing the pituitary gland (the gland which is normally responsible for triggering ovulation). However, before suppression occurs, Lupron will briefly stimulate the pituitary causing an increase in the pituitary hormones LH (luteinizing hormone) and FSH (follicle stimulating hormone).

Two days later I started Gonal F injections. Gonal FSH increases the number of growing follicles and stimulates their development. Within the follicles are the developing eggs. FSH also increases the production of oestrogen, and under the influence of this hormone, the largest follicle continues to develop. This medicine is used to stimulate the development of follicles and eggs in women who are having difficulties getting pregnant due to problems with ovulation. 

So the side effects of both of these are:

• Pain, bruising and inflammation at the injection site in men and women.
• Headache in women.
• Ovarian cysts

• Mild to moderate over-stimulation of the ovaries (ovarian hyper stimulation), causing the production of many eggs.
• Disturbances of the gut, such as nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, abdominal cramps and bloating in women.
• Breast enlargement, weight gain, acne and swelling of the veins in the scrotum in men.

I am experiencing every one of them except the scrotal swelling which if Steven doesn't play his cards right...he may experience! (lololol! crack myself up again).
I have this entire week off which is a God send because I am going to need a lot of sleep I do believe. 
Please pray for me this week. As if the hormones are not atrocious enough, this would have been my week to deliver nugget #1! November 6 would have been my first babies due date (at least by my calculations) and anybody that has ever had a miscarriage knows, a mommy never forgets that date. I cannot dwell on the past, however I do feel like that baby deserves some remembrance and I won't ever stop thinking about it! It was my only "first child"! Hopefully I'll be adding a sister or brother to the mix here shortly! 
Enough about that (sniff, sniff)...I go back to the doctor to see my new babies again this Friday. At that point they will assess how the medicines are working and at what stage the eggs are in order to plan their retrieval. November 10 is the tentative date for removing those bad boys. They will put me to sleep and use a very large needle to poke through my uterus and into my ovaries and get each individual egg out of it's nest! How cool is that?! Then we will put them together with Steven contribution to the process, and wait..... 
Somewhere around November 13-15 they will take the good embryos and implant the two best ones back in and WAIT...
All of this is assuming they have enough eggs to harvest and that they survive this process. I am praying and believing that I will produce more than enough and that they will be exceptionally gorgeous! (ha)At this point, if they are ugly PLEASE DON'T TELL ME! I will dress them cute anyway.
Many prayers needed for my health, sanity and marriage over the next month please! 
Here is a sweet reminder of my first angel that I won't ever forget! XOXO sweet fetus!


                       Nothing will ever out do this I don't believe! 
Have a great week!